Mr. Smith's Self-help Saloon

What would happen if..............

2007-08-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

1. You don't lash out on an occasion when your significant other is acting a bit irrational?

2. You don't tell your mate that they don't need to be eating cake for dessert?

3. You don't repeatedly talk to your partner about how attractive your co-worker of the opposite sex is?

4. On a road trip, you don't sit in the passenger seat and nag about how your boyfriend is driving( that is unless he is driving recklessly)?

5. You don't react after your mate makes an insensitive comment about what you are wearing?

Answer: You'd have a happier, healthier relationship. Most of the time in relationships, during both small-talk moments and moments of tension , we'd be better served to make the choice of saying nothing. Many comments people make in relationships are unnecessary and sometimes just plain rude. Before saying something to your mate, particularly during a tense moment, ask yourself if what you are about to say is really necessary. Think about if what you are about to say will help build your mate up or contribute to tearing them down. Apply this strategy and you'll soon notice that you will significantly reduce the hurt feelings, bickering and petty drama that can erode your precious gift of a relationship.

NBA Trades I'd like to see (2)

2007-08-22T19:13:00.000-07:00

Sasha Pavlovic FOR: Jameer Nelson

Breakdown: Over the 2006-07 season The Cavs discovered an athletic and promising swing man in Pavlovic; however, Pavlovic is a shooting guard and so is Larry Hughes who did an admirable job masquerading at the point last season. Hughes has a fat contract and moving him while his value isn't at its highest would be difficult. On the other hand, Nelson is a talented young point guard, but his lack of playmaking skills ( he averaged 4.3 assists last year, which is paultry for a starting point guard)make him a better fit on a team that has playmaking wing playmakers( Cleveland has a guy named Lebron.....ever heard of him?) Nelson could make a living knocking down jumpshots and provide additional backcourt scoring punch and natural ball- handling for the Cavs. Pavlovic could provide the Orlando Magic with the solid shooting guard they need, one who is able to knock down jumpshots and get to the rim. At this point, Pavlovic is a definite upgrade in my opinion over J.J. Redick. The Magic could then slide Keyon Dooling to the starting point guard spot ( some in Orlando feel he should be starting now). This is a trade that would work well for both teams. Cavs, Magic........lets make a deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7 ways to warm up your romantic relationship

2007-08-20T15:13:00.000-07:00

1. Compliment your mate about his/her smile.

2. If you live together wash the dishes, vacuum and take out the garbage before your mate gets home.

3. Give your mate a thank you card and list at least five things about your relationship and/or the other person that you're grateful for.

4. Go for a walk together and ask your mate about his/her weekly, monthly and yearly goals.

5. Make a "sick pack" for your mate in case of minor illness. Include cold/ allergy medicine, aspirin, antacids, tea, soup, etc.

6. Commit at least one night to a "date night", where just the two of you do something together fun, romantic, and/or special.

7. Take up a new hobby together such as: exercising, taking a cooking class, joining a book club, hiking, camping, gardening, antiquing, doing puzzles.

NBA trades I'd like to see (1)

2007-08-18T08:15:00.000-07:00

Jared Jeffries FOR: Sarunas Jasikevicius

Breakdown: The Knicks need a floor general as their backup point guard( no disrespect Nate Rob) and Jasikevicius could be the man for the job. He and Zach Randolph would be effective running the pick and roll. On the other side, Jeffries, only 25 has been considered a bit of an underachiever yet in my opionion his better days are ahead of him. Unfortunately, not with the Knicks. With Randolph and David Lee getting all the minutes at the power forward spot, and Quentin Richardson, Renaldo Balkman and promising rookie Wison Chandler at the small forward spot, it appears there may be no room for Jeffries. Warriors coach DonNelson would welcome the versatile big man Jeffries who could easily play three positons for the Warriors, giving that bench some much needed size and depth. Warriors, Knicks...................lets make a deal!!!!!!!!!!!

Living a Purposeful Life: Part 2- Sample Life Purposes

2007-08-18T04:03:00.000-07:00

Although fulfilling your purpose can definitely lead to monetary gain, it’s not about making money for oneself. Living your purpose isn’t about having; it’s about being, being your true self. Purpose isn’t about recognition or seeking fame either.
In regards to life purposes here are some sample ones that may or may not currently or eventually apply to you, but include:

 To help youth become productive, successful adults
 To assist with the conservation of our earth’s natural resources
 To serve as a healer for others
 To create beauty through the visual or performing arts(music, art, photography)
 To protect and serve my fellow neighbor
 To bring unity, peace and the resolution of conflict to the world
 To uphold and support justice within our society
 To look after the well being of our earth’s animals
 To serve and support the elderly
 To help provide solid, stable housing for others
 To assist in creating and maintaining beautiful surroundings
 To help others turn dreams into realities
 To help others develop and maintain healthy relationships
 To use my athletic abilities and knowledge to serve others
 To create new & innovative technology
 To encourage physical and mental exploration
 To help guide others to make healthy choices
 To nourish others through food
 To care for the sick
 To help others look and feel attractive
 To enlighten others spiritually
 To contribute to the financial success of others
 To educate my fellow man
 To help others have fun and enjoy life!
 To help create equality for all worldwide
 To support others in becoming victorious
 To explore this lovely world and share my experiences with others
 To be a planter of positive seeds in the lives of others
 To help others lead healthy lives
 To build and create structures that will assist others
 To serve as a deliverer of information
 To entertain others through using my talents
 To spread love and joy!
 To help others overcome obstacles

For Men: Living a Purposeful Life

2007-08-17T15:28:00.000-07:00

Living a Purposeful Life: Part 1 - What is life purpose ?

We all have a life purpose, meaning a reason for why we are alive. I define living one’s purpose in life as combining your strengths, gifts, interests, and abilities to serve society or fulfill a need in the world, living the life you were designed to live. Buckminster Fuller once stated, "the purpose of our lives is to add value to the people of this generation and those that follow". Truly living your purpose brings joy to others as well as to us. You can not lose your purpose, it’s waiting for you to search and find.
Many times we see men living a life of mediocrity, sort of drifting through life, sometimes numb and discontented spirits. Some of these men appear to have it all together, maybe it’s the nice house, abundance of "friends" or material possessions that gives off this façade, but the truth is these men feel unfulfilled and unhappy. A purposeless life for the adult male may involve constant restlessness, forever seeking something that is "out there", dissatisfaction, feeling unfulfilled, working a dead end job or having no job at all, failing to meet your responsibilities and so on. It may involve abusing substances or other people physically and or emotionally. Within the teenage population living a purposeless life might look like: failing grades in school, dropping out of school, lack of direction, minimal or no involvement in positive activities, drug and alcohol abuse, associating with a deviant crowd, feeling apart from everything. Disappointingly, we have too many men living lives without purpose. You may witness this apathy on television, with some of your family or in impoverished environments where you may observe men both youthful and aged out on street corners, smoking, drinking or selling drugs, not knowing that there is something much more constructive designed for them. Purposeless living is becoming a major crisis in my honest opinion. But luckily, regardless of your age, background, limitations or whatever else, you do have a purpose for your life. You can serve society and make both the present and future a better place. You don’t need a certain title or educational degree to be of service and fulfill your life purpose. Having a strong sense of purpose reinforces getting up in the morning and living a full life. Your life purpose can involve something that you have been trained to do, something that comes as second nature or a combination of both. Simply put, people who are following their life’s purpose know that they are here on earth for a reason. People lacking a sense of purpose tend not to know why they are here, sometimes finding life to be meaningless or pointless. Living with a purpose can help you experience:

The feeling of being more alive and vivacious
An increased feeling of contribution. Stronger health and mental/emotional well-being.
Less fear of death knowing you’ve inhabited earth during this particular time period for a reason and you have the job of living out that purpose during this lifetime.
A feeling of passion about your work and activities, something to look forward to.
A heightened sense of happiness and self-esteem.
Authentic joy!!